It feels important to tell your story, right?

Claiming who we are and what we stand for is powerful and healing, and not only for ourselves.

It is leadership.

But how do you avoid the classic mistake almost everyone makes, when trying to ‘get the word out there’?

How do you avoid centering yourself?

How do you avoid making it all about you?

There is a way, and you know it in your bones.

Think of a favorite writer, thinker or leader that inspires you. Or think of a brand that you really love, one makes you feel loyal, one that you tell your friends about.

Do you know anything about their story?

Think of the elements of their story that you remember. What do they mean to you? How did you learn about it?

Choose the right part of your story

Telling your story is an incredibly powerful and useful part of marketing, if you choose the right part of your story.

What is the right part?

The thread that is relevant to your prospective audience’s success. The part that connects with their journey, their longings, challenges and most secret desires.

Remember … they (just like you) care the most about THEIR OWN story!

I remember the story of Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run with the Wolves, the massive international bestseller. Her manuscript was rejected by publishers over and over and over again (42 times), until she finally started going to bookshops, door to door, leaving audiotapes on consignment.

The rest is history. (More than 2.7 million copies sold!)_ 

It is just one tiny piece of her story. But I’ve remembered it many times because it helps me.

Your job is to choose the piece(s) of your story that can help your audience see what is possible for them.

How do you know which part to choose?

Ok, but how do you choose? How do you know which bits are the right bits of your story?

Remember that you probably won’t get it right the first time.

Connecting with your audience is a conversation. It is a relationship.

You can try something and see how it lands.

Truth is, there are many stories you could tell. There are many stories that will be helpful.

Think of it as a research project, and start keeping a Story Scraps journal.

Try this exercise to get started …

Make yourself comfortable, at time and place where you will have 10 minutes uninterrupted.

Allow yourself to scan your memory for moments when you have felt really blocked or frustrated in your life or around a particular action but you found a way through … it could be big like a life choice, or a super small like a random encounter with a customer service rep … choose just one memory that seems most interesting for you today.

Allow yourself to explore that memory as if it were a dream, and make some notes as you go.

Notice all the details, notice colors, sounds, the feeling atmosphere. What you can feel with your hands or your body, time of day, quality of the light. What you can see if you ‘look around’ the memory? How you are standing and moving.

Notice any figures in the memory, human, animal or otherwise. Notice who is present and also search for what figures are absent. Figures that should have been there but are not, for example a friendly face that could have helped you.

Dream into what roles might be hidden or in the background, like inner voices, or a powerful outer force that is impacting the situation. Identify which figures (human or otherwise) were most important to the situation.

Was there an ally that was helpful to you? A figure, perhaps, but also could be an inner resource like your own optimism or stubborn persistence. Was there a villain? An inner or outer figure or atmosphere or force that made change seem impossible?

Explore what it felt like when you were stuck and what it felt like once you found your way through. What changed in your momentary experience and what ripple effects were there in your life?

Now set a timer for 2 minutes and create a simple story using the following structure as a base:

Once upon a time, there was a character (3 key details) who wanted and needed to do or get (this or that) but could not because (inner or outer blocking reasons) which made them feel (specific version of awful). It was all the more impossible because (villain) was against them. Luckily, (ally) was there to help, and (character) was able to (describe the feeling and benefits of overcoming the obstacle).

Read your story out aloud and consider how this story could be helpful to the people that you want to serve in your professional practice, or as an author, leader, or change-agent.

Could your story:

• help people feel understood, that someone gets them?
• show people what is over their edge, the transformation they are longing for?
• give people tools, ideas and hope – create a bridge from here to there?

Re-write your story from the perspective of each one of these three goals. Allow yourself to be creative, to elaborate, to ‘fictionalize’.

The point is not to write a scientific report on what happened. The point is to create an emotional connection with the power to transport your audience into their own possible future.

Do what you need to do to create a story in service of your person and about what they need, long for, and struggle with.

If you can’t see the connection just now, do not worry. Tuck it away in your Story Scraps Journal… very often the significance will come to you later.

It is a practice and you get better at it. Practice and you will build your story muscles.

Remember: Tell the part of your story which uplifts your person and you will make a bigger difference.

You’ve got this.

The world needs you.

Go further

Next week in the July Marketing Lab class, I’m teaching about when and how to tell your story. Join me live, or catch up with the replay.

With a Marketing Lab monthly subscription, you get access to the live monthly class plus you can stay as long as you like, browse or binge watch previous Marketing Lab replays, join the bonus live Q&A to get more individual coaching, reach out for help anytime via the Marketing Lab course site.