How do you feel about social media?

Scrap that, complicated question!

How do you feel about using social media to make your impact, grow your practice or get your message across?

Recently I’ve gone from yuk to yum, which was a complete and welcome surprise!

My top tip for avoiding social media burnout is to remember it is not about you, but then what?

Socials are for socializing (eek!)

The most important thing to remember is that social media is for socializing.

Socializing means connecting with others for the purpose of enjoying yourself.

People use socials to escape, to relax, to be entertained, to connect, to be seen.

If you’re an extrovert, you get energy from socializing so things are definitely easier. But you might be an introvert like me. Then finding your socializing style is essential for your wellbeing.

Try this reflection exercise to explore your socializing style, preferences and vulnerabilities:

Reflection Exercise: Socializing – what you love, hate, and why

Give yourself 20-30 minutes and have something to make notes with.

Part 1: Find and claim your social style

Set a timer for 10 minutes, and write down everything you can remember about social events recently and over the course of your life. Just stream of consciousness, free write, let your memory bring up everything it can.

Then, take another 10 minutes, look over your list and focus on finding elements that you really enjoyed. Maybe it was one special conversation in a kitchen at a party. Or maybe it was the whole atmosphere of a picnic one magical summer’s day. Explore your memories and note down as many details as you can.

Give yourself some time to reflect and relate to your notes and explorations. What are you learning about your socializing style and preferences for relaxing, connecting and enjoying yourself?

Finally, crystallize three words to represent your style.

How would you describe the values, principles or qualities that define your unique preferences for socializing?

Keep these words for your social media style guide.

Part 2: Harvest from your social challenges

Take some breaths and check whether you are feeling centered and grounded enough for an emotional challenge. If you feel ready, go on to the next step.

Let yourself recall and focus on one social experience that wasn’t great. Maybe it was even horrible, a real drag, an experience that might have left you venting and upset afterward. It might even be an experience you hated. It might have hurt you in some way.

Give yourself a minute to breathe and soothe and regulate as you recall the horrible experience. Bring an attitude of loving kindness and letting go, until you can observe the event with more detachment and curiosity. Don’t push at this step. If you don’t want to go further today, allow yourself to stop right here.

But if you feel calm and curious, take another look at the memory. See if you can identity the disturbing element and then describe it with words, or an image, or a sound. You make try making a hand gesture to represent it, or a quick sketch to make a picture of the energy which was disturbing.

Maybe it was a person who was kinda arrogant and putting you or others down and you imagine it as a big red expanding balloon filling all the space.

Maybe it was a background atmosphere of stress and tension, competitiveness or fear and you imagine it as rigid icy wall that rises up into the sky.

Give yourself some time to reflect and relate to your notes and explorations.

Ask yourself:

Is there an essence of that disturbing experience that might be a useful spice to include in my social media style guide?

And how would I relate to that disturbing energy now, next time it pops up in my social life?

Part 3: Create your own personal Socializing Style Guide

Finally, use your reflections to create a description of your own unique socializing style guide defining how you want to show up on socials for making your difference.

Use strategy to win the game

Once you’ve explored and claimed your own socializing style, you can get strategic.

Socials are for socializing, but if you want to grow your practice, you will need a strategy.

So try thinking of socials as a hunting ground.

Ok, that might sound kinda predatory. Literally! Which is why marketing from the wrong place feels absolutely gross.

But, here is the thing: if you are not clear on your purpose, you will risk getting lost in social media’s addictive attention overwhelm.

Why think of social media as a hunting ground?

Because otherwise you become prey for the social media companies.
Endlessly churning out content to feed the click bait machine.

Without consistency and persistence for the long game, you will waste your precious time and energy and give up before you make a difference.

You need a sustaining flow of real dialogue, of meaningful engagement, to avoid getting exhausted, frustrated by the hustle, and burnt out.

Do socials differently by remembering you are hunting for your person because you love them (not because you want to eat them LOL).

You are hunting for people who need what you have to offer because you are here to help them on their journey.

But imagine you are hunting for entanglement.
You are hunting for the people that you are entangled with.
People who need what you have to offer.

You are hunting for your soul mate.
You are hunting for your person because you love them.

Two kinds of Hunting

There are two kinds of hunting techniques you can use on social media to help you make your difference:

• Stalking
• Fishing

Stalking means getting to know your person.

When your person is relaxing and enjoying themselves, where do they hang out online?

Where do your people feel comfortable? Where do they speak their mind, tell their jokes, and share their pains?

Our online public space is dispersed into many many smaller public squares. Where are your people when they go online?

Do they engage with the comments sections on TV, radio, and newspaper sites? Who do they follow? What groups do they join? Do they use social media?

• YouTube, Google, Facebook, Reddit, LinkedIN, Instagram, Bluesky, TikTok, Pinterest, X, Spotify, Substack, Medium, Truth Social, Threads, Mastodon, Podcasts, Blogs, Twitch, Quora, Netflix … the next big or tiny emerging social network?

Use stalking to find out where they are and then listen to what they have to say. What will be meaningful, interesting, useful, and enagaging to your person?

Fishing means putting out tasty bait for your person

Fishing means putting out something that will be genuinely useful and interesting for your person … bait, if you’ll allow me.

Plain talk. It is bait. It is specifically designed to be irresistible to your ideal person. You are fishing for entanglement – you are fishing to find the right person for what you have to offer.

In marketing this bait is called a ‘lead magnet’, following the legendary marketing educator, Dan Kennedy. You put something out to ‘magnetically’ attract a ‘lead’: someone interested in what you offer.

Go fishing by sharing something on socials that will attract your ideal person and including a free gift offer. You ask for an email address in exchange for the gift. Then you do the work to engage them into a meaningful relationship that builds trust by offering value.

Do socials differently

Remember, you do not have to ‘do socials’ to make your difference.

But it is a powerful vehicle.

It might get you where you want to go faster and easier.

Just make sure that you are driving so you don’t get run over.

Do socials differently, have more fun, and don’t get burnt by the hustle.

You’ve got this.

And the world needs you.

Love

Hellene